Isnโ€™t everyone a teacher in life?

Kindness has come to me from countless people throughout my life. Some offered encouragement when I doubted myself, some challenged my thinking, and others simply showed up with quiet compassion when I needed it most.

Each interaction, whether brief or lasting, has left an imprint on who I am today.

As a psychologist, I have come to appreciate that human growth rarely happens in isolation. We are shaped through relationships, conversations, observations, and shared experiences.

Every person we encounter reflects something back to us, a strength to cultivate, a lesson to learn, a perspective to consider, or even a challenge that helps us develop resilience and self-awareness.

Over time, I’ve realized that wisdom does not belong exclusively to experts, teachers, or elders. It can emerge from a childโ€™s curiosity, a friend’s honesty, a stranger’s generosity, or a client’s courage.

Every person carries a unique story, and within that story lies the potential to teach us something meaningful about life, humanity, and ourselves.

This perspective nurtures humility. When we approach others with openness, we recognize that learning is a lifelong process and that everyone has something valuable to offer.

In many ways, each person becomes a mentor, a guide, a guru, shaping us in ways both obvious and subtle.

I carry deep gratitude for all those who have crossed my path. Their kindness, wisdom, and even their struggles have contributed to my journey. They have helped me become more empathetic, more aware, and more deeply connected to the human experience.

Perhaps one of life’s most profound truths is that everyone is a teacher, if only we are willing to learn.

And in recognizing this, we discover that gratitude itself becomes a pathway to growth, connection, and meaning.

Understanding Time Poverty: Causes and Solutions

Ever feel like your to-do list is a mile long but your day is only an inch deep? Youโ€™re not just busyโ€”you might be experiencing “time poverty.” Many of us today face this chronic feeling of having too many demands and too little time to meet them. Unlike financial poverty, time poverty is a scarcity of discretionary time that leaves us feeling overwhelmed and unable to keep up, despite all the technology meant to save us time.

What Exactly Is Time Poverty?

Researchers Laura Giurge, Ashley Whillans, and Colin West define it as the chronic feeling of having too many things to do and not enough time to do them. Itโ€™s not just about being busy; itโ€™s about feeling like youโ€™ve lost control over your schedule. Whether it’s work, caregiving, or social expectations, these demands compete for your limited hours, leaving even financially stable people feeling “time poor.”


Why This Constant Rush is Ruining Your Day

Being time-poor isn’t just an annoyanceโ€”research shows it’s linked to poorer physical and mental well-being. When you’re under constant pressure, it leads to a cycle of stress and emotional exhaustion.

People experiencing high levels of time poverty are more likely to report:

  • Increased stress and emotional exhaustion
  • Lower life satisfaction and happiness
  • Poorer physical health
  • Reduced productivity and work engagement
  • Sleep difficulties
  • Less time for relationships and self-care

Studies show that feeling short on time can be as detrimental to your happiness as other major life stressors because it creates a constant sense of urgency.


The Psychology of the Clock

Hereโ€™s the kicker: time poverty is often about your subjective perception. You might have free time, but interruptions and long to-do lists make you feel like you don’t. When we feel rushed, we focus only on immediate demands, making it harder to plan for the long term or enjoy simple restorative activities like hanging out with friends.


Who Feels the Squeeze the Most?

While anyone can be time-poor, certain groups are hit harder:

  • Working parents, especially those balancing employment and caregiving
  • Individuals with multiple jobs
  • Caregivers of children, older adults, or family members with health conditions
  • Women, who often perform a disproportionate share of unpaid household labor
  • Workers in demanding or inflexible jobs

Essentially, these competing demands reduce your discretionary time and increase that feeling of total overload.


How to Take Your Time Back

Interestingly, well-being isn’t just about having more hoursโ€”it’s about having meaningful free time. Quality matters more than quantity. Moderate leisure is great, but excessively unstructured time can actually be less beneficial.


Reducing Time Poverty

Try these evidence-based steps to start feeling “time affluent” again:

  • Setting boundaries around work and technology use
  • Prioritizing activities aligned with personal values
  • Delegating tasks when possible
  • Reducing unnecessary commitments
  • Scheduling restorative activities such as exercise, social connection, and relaxation
  • Increasing autonomy and control over one’s daily schedule

Protecting time for yourself is just as important as protecting your finances.

The Bottom Line

Time poverty is a mental trap, but you can break out of it. By setting boundaries and prioritizing what truly matters, you can stop just surviving the day and start actually enjoying it. Your time is your most precious resourceโ€”spend it wisely!

  • Giurge, L. M., Whillans, A. V., & West, C. (2020). Why Time Poverty Matters for Individuals, Organisations and Nations. Nature Human Behaviour.
  • Wadsworth, A., & colleagues. A Measure Whose Time Has Come: Formalizing Time Poverty.
  • Science News (2025). Why Do We Feel Starved for Time? New Research Offers Answers.

My choice – Psychologist

If the salary was the same, what job would you be doing right now and why?

โ€œIโ€™d choose psychology โ€” helping people through hard times. From experience, I know everyone needs support at some point.โ€

The Cycles of Couple Relationships Explained

DR. KUMAR PSYCHOLOGIST

Understanding Relationships. Strengthening everyday life.

Quick idea:  Long-term relationships are dynamicโ€”they evolve through shifting phases of stress, stability, and adaptation

Understanding the Concept

It is a common myth that romantic relationships follow a single, downward slide as time goes on. Decades of psychological research show that long-term relationships are dynamicโ€”they evolve through shifting phases of stress, stability, and adaptation.

What Science Says

1. Satisfaction Fluctuatesโ€”It Doesn’t Just Decline While relationship satisfaction often drops in the early years or during major life transitions, it rarely follows a straight line. Large-scale reviews show that satisfaction often rebounds in later years, and many couples maintain high, stable satisfaction over decades.

2. Intensity Shifts to Attachment The high-octane passion of the “honeymoon phase” naturally cools. However, a reduction in romantic intensity is not a reduction in love. Over time, passion often transforms into deeper commitment, trust, and shared identity.

3. Relationships Move in Cycles Couples rarely drift apart in a simple linear path. Instead, relationships naturally move through cycles:

Relationships Move in Cycles
Closeness
Stress
Conflict
Repair
Renewed Closeness

Short-term volatility or temporary dissatisfaction does not automatically mean a relationship is over.

4. External Stress Reshapes the Bond Major life eventsโ€”like parenthood, financial shifts, or career changesโ€”force couples to adapt. When satisfaction drops during these phases, it is often because partners are navigating a new environment together, not because their core love has vanished.

How Relationships Evolve Over Time

DimensionEarly RelationshipLong-Term Partnership
Attraction & PassionHigh intensity, novelty-drivenFluctuating, stable, or intentionally renewed
Intimacy & IdentityRapidly developing (“You & Me”)Deepened through familiarity and shared history (“We”)
Focus on StressOften external to the relationshipManaged jointly as a team
Driver of HealthExcitement and idealizationAdaptation, repair, and growth beliefs

The Power of Dyadic Coping and Mindset

How couples handle change comes down to two factors: dyadic coping and growth beliefs. Viewing challenges as “something we are dealing with together” rather than “your problem” helps preserve connection. Furthermore, couples who view relationship quality as something that develops through shared effort navigate changes far better than those who believe partners are simply “meant to be”.

Ending a relationship can lead to a better one

The 2024 longitudinal study by Bรผhler and Orth followed 2,268 participants across up to seven waves over 20 years.

People whose relationships ended tended to show lower and more rapidly declining satisfaction before dissolution. Interestingly, people who entered a new relationship afterwards often started that new relationship with higher satisfaction than at the beginning of their previous relationship. However, satisfaction again declined over the course of the new relationship.

This finding illustrates an important psychological principle:

A new relationship can improve circumstances, but no relationship is permanently protected from change.

๐ŸŒฑ Key Takeaway

Romance changes โ†’ circumstances change โ†’ partners adapt โ†’ interaction patterns change โ†’ relationship satisfaction changes.

The defining question for a lasting relationship isn’t “How long will the passion last?”โ€”it’s “How well do we adapt together when life changes?”

Dr. Kumar
Psychology โ€ข Mental Health โ€ข Personal Growth

Key Science-Backed Rules

Based on relationship science

1

Turn Toward Micro-Bids

Notice and respond to small invitations for connectionโ€”successful couples turn toward each other far more often than couples who divorce.

2

The 5

1 Ratio: Stable relationships maintain about 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction during conflict, and around 20:1 in everyday life.

3

Softened Startup

How a conversation begins strongly influences how it endsโ€”use โ€œI feelโ€ฆ I needโ€ฆโ€ instead of โ€œYou alwaysโ€ฆโ€ or โ€œYou neverโ€ฆโ€.

Evidence-informed ideas for everyday lifedrkumarpsychologist.com

  1. Bรผhler, J. L., & Orth, U. (2024). How relationship satisfaction changes within and across romantic relationships: Evidence from a large longitudinal study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 126(5), 930โ€“945. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000492 (PubMed)
  2. Bรผhler, J. L., Orth, U., & others. (2022). Development of relationship satisfaction across the life span: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000342 (PubMed)
  3. Joiner, R. J., et al. (2023). Are changes in marital satisfaction sustained and steady, or sporadic and dramatic? American Psychologist. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0001207 (PubMed)
  4. McNulty, J. K., et al. (2021). How both partners’ individual differences, stress, and behavior predict change in relationship satisfaction: Extending the VSA model. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 118(27). https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2101402118 (PubMed)
  5. Johnson, M. D., et al. (2022). Within-couple associations between communication and relationship satisfaction over time. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672211016920 (PubMed)
  6. Pinquart, M., & others. (2022). Rank-order stability of relationship satisfaction: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin. (PubMed)
  7. Mitnick, D. M., Heyman, R. E., & Slep, A. M. S. (2009). Changes in relationship satisfaction across the transition to parenthood: A meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(6), 848โ€“852. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017004 (PubMed)
  8. Roth, M., et al. (2025). Positive outcomes of long-term relationship satisfaction trajectories in stable romantic couples: A 10-year longitudinal study. International Journal of Applied Positive Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41042-024-00201-1 (PubMed)
  9. Roth, M., et al. (2025). Dyadic coping and communication as predictors of 10-year relationship satisfaction subgroup trajectories in stable romantic couples. Behavioral Sciences, 15(10), 1361. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15101361 (PubMed)
  10. Gander, F., et al. (2024). The role of relationship beliefs in predicting levels and changes of relationship satisfaction. European Journal of Personality. (PubMed)
  11. Bรผhler, J. L., & Orth, U. (2025). Terminal decline of satisfaction in romantic relationships: Evidence from four longitudinal studies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000551 (PubMed)
  12. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38206851/


Podcast Episode: Ancient Wisdom For Modern Minds

Pip: What if the problem with your mind isn’t what’s in it โ€” but that you’ve been misidentifying who’s doing the looking? Dr. K. Kumar has some thoughts, and they go back a few thousand years.

Mara: Today we’re covering two territories: the ancient architecture of a calm mind, and the question of whether modern psychology is even asking the right questions about consciousness.

Pip: Let’s start with what serenity actually costs you โ€” and what it asks you to give up first.

Mindfulness and the Architecture of Inner Peace

Pip: The frame here isn’t “try harder to relax.” It’s a diagnostic: your mind has specific structural obstacles, and peace is what’s left when you clear them.

Mara: The post sets this up directly โ€” “Achieving peace of mind is not about acquiring external knowledge โ€” it is a diagnostic process of removing structural mental obstacles. By clearing away these psychological veils, you shift from being reactively fragmented to occupying a place of calm self-mastery.”

Pip: So serenity isn’t added on top โ€” it’s already there underneath. The work is subtraction.

Mara: Right. The post maps six internal obstacles โ€” desire, anger, greed, delusion, pride, jealousy โ€” and shows how they cascade. Desire blocked becomes anger; anger clouds judgment; clouded judgment erases past wisdom; and without wisdom, reasoning collapses entirely.

Pip: That’s not a bad mood. That’s a full system failure triggered by wanting something you didn’t get.

Mara: And beneath those six sits a deeper layer: five root afflictions, starting with ignorance โ€” specifically, confusing your temporary thoughts and body with your actual self.

Pip: The antidotes aren’t imposed virtues, though. The post is clear that peace, compassion, contentment, equanimity, and clarity are natural qualities that surface once the obstacles are removed โ€” not disciplines you bolt on.

Mara: The practical side includes what the post calls a Social Blueprint: meet happiness with friendliness, suffering with compassion, virtue with joy, and harmful behavior with neutrality. And the Ocean Mindset โ€” remain steady while desires and events flow in continuously.

Pip: The post also connects all of this to modern neuroscience โ€” practicing compassion calms the stress response and rewires neural pathways โ€” and to CBT’s core move of observing thoughts rather than fusing with them.

Mara: Which is exactly where the next territory picks up โ€” because one framework asks what to do with your thoughts, and the other asks who’s watching them.

What Psychology Is Still Missing

Mara: Modern psychology maps behavior, cognition, and trauma with real precision. The question this post raises is whether it’s looking in the right place for the observer doing the experiencing.

Pip: The post puts it plainly: “Modern science focuses heavily on the contents of the mind while neglecting the nature of the observer.”

Mara: That gap is where Advaita Vedanta steps in. The concept of Sakshi โ€” Witness Consciousness โ€” holds that you are not your memories, traits, or mental processes. You are the unchanging awareness that observes all of them.

Pip: Which is a bigger claim than CBT’s self-distancing, where you step back from a thought. This says the thing doing the stepping back is your actual identity.

Mara: The post extends this through four states of experience from the Mandukya Upanishad โ€” waking, dreaming, deep sleep, and Turiya, described as the foundational background awareness behind all three. The analogy the post uses: Turiya is the movie screen, untouched while scenes continuously change.

Pip: And suffering, in this framework, isn’t a cognitive distortion to be corrected. It’s a case of mistaken identity.

Mara: Specifically, Avidya โ€” ignorance of your true nature. The post argues that misidentifying the temporary mind-body complex as your core self is the root, and that recognizing you are the observer of the ego, not the ego itself, is where real relief lives.

Pip: Modern therapy targets emotional regulation and resilience. This framework targets something it calls Moksha โ€” liberation from ego identification altogether โ€” where compassion stops being a moral effort and becomes, as the post puts it, a natural reflex.

Mara: The post’s conclusion is integrative: Western clinical tools handle behavioral change and symptom management; Vedantic insight supplies the framework for self-realization. Neither alone is the complete picture.


Pip: Two frameworks, one underlying move โ€” stop treating the noise as the signal.

Mara: Whether it’s clearing mental obstacles or recognizing the witness behind them, the direction is the same: inward, and then stable.

Pip: More to explore next time.