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Inside the therapist mind
Process inside the therapist mind is more complex than we think. Let’s recognise and appreciate it. Helping someone else who is in distress is not easy task….
#psychology #counsellingpsychology #counselling
#drkumarpsychologistpy
Anger – Key points to remember
Truth about anger
- Anger is a common emotion.
- Anger needs to be expressed in a healthy way
- Expression of anger is learned behavior
- Appropriate ways of expressing anger can also be learned.
- When anger is displayed frequently and aggressively, it can become a maladaptive habit.
- You can break the anger habit by becoming aware of the events and circumstances that trigger your anger and the negative consequences that result from it.
- anger takes many forms.
- most people deny they are angry.
- Some displace their anger to other people or causes.
- Unrealistic expectation makes you angry.
Why Anger is danger
- Harms you
- Hurt others
- Robs your happiness, peace
- Negative outcome
- Regret – feel bad
- Unhelpful thinking
- Ignoring the positive
- Ignoring the others feelings
- Ruined relationships
- Impair performance
- Leads to violence
- Leads to depression
- Leads to addiction
- Keeps friends away
- Impair judgement, problem solving
- Damage to property
- health problems
- Promote conflict
- It is contagious
- Makes others victim
Thinking affects the way we view the situation.
Anger triggering thoughts
- It is their fault
- They deserve it
- I am not saint
- Anger helps me get things done
- I can’t control my anger
- They only provoke me
- Think about the short term benefits
- I am teaching lesson to them
Anger Management
What works?
- Talking to someone
- Use distraction technique
- Find out stressful situations makes you angry.
- Aware of your angry thoughts and behaviour.
- Replace unhelpful to alternative thoughts
- Learn to Relax.
- Do Physical Excercise
- Get enough sleep
- Practice Breathing technique
- Cognitive behaviour therapy
- Learn listening and empathy skills
- Respect others and their feelings
- Use humor
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Learn to Forgive
What not works
- Passive activity such as TV, Sleep
- Avoiding the person or situation
- Drug and alcohol
- Spending time alone.
Understanding Adolescent Behavior
Parental and societal views of adolescents are mostly negative. Parents should understand adolescents are becoming adult, certain behaviour are normal part of their development. And also parents should know what should and should not do for their healthy development.
Research has shown that parenting is associated with a wide array of developmental outcomes in adolescence, including academic achievement, risk behaviors such as substance use and delinquency, and psychological adjustment.
Normal adolescent behaviour
- Wants to be more independent
- Rebellious attitude
- Needing more sleep
- Mood Swings
- Aggression
- Lying Or Hiding Facts
- Arguing
- Changing one’s Appearance
- Worrying about physical appearance
- Refuses to do chores
- Decreased Communication
- Indecisiveness
- Attract towards opposite sex
Parents should not punish or treat harshly for the above behaviours, these are sign of your child becoming an adult. Understand and accept them.
The most important things that parents can do in this stage are:
- Learning about typical child development
- Learning the importance of positive, non-disciplinary interactions with children and behavior
- Responding sensitively to child’s emotional and psychological needs
- Giving clear and developmentally appropriate directions, setting limits and rules
- Promoting a child’s learning and intellectual development through encouragement, cognitive simulation and social opportunities.
- Provide a sufficiently stable family environment to enable a child to develop and maintain secure attachment to the parents.
- Monitoring the child’s activities
- Nurturing the child’s independence
Parents should help them to achieve their Developmental tasks
- Develop mature relations with age-mates of both sexes.
- Achieving a masculine or feminine social role.
- Accepting one’s physique.
- Becoming independent from the parents.
- Preparing for career.
- Preparing for marriage and family
- Acquiring a set of values and an ethical system as a guideto behavior
- Desiring and achieving socially responsible behavior.
Understand Their Emotional needs: ensuring that a child’s emotional needs are met
- To be loved
- To feel they belong to a family
- To be heard and understood
- To be accepted as they are
- To have choices and independence
- To be allowed to play
Parenting style and its outcome
- Authoritative parents – are both responsive and demanding. warm, consistent and listen openly to their children.
Adolescents with Authoritative parents score highest on measures of social competence, high on measures of self-confidence, and are least likely to engage in antisocial behaviors such as delinquency and drug use. They also show higher levels of self-reliance and self-esteem and report less depression and anxiety.
2. Permissive parents – are not demanding, inconsistent little control over their children.
Adolescents with Permissive parents tend to score high on measures of self-confidence, and report a high frequency of both drug abuse and misconduct in school.
3. Neglectful parents – are neither responding and demanding, little control over their children. They let their children do whatever they choose.
Adolescents of Neglectful parents have the least positive developmental outcomes. Ignored or rejected by parents, these children have higher aggression levels in early childhood, and their behavioral problems continue to worsen in adolescence, when they often display hostility, selfishness, and rebellious attitudes. They tend to lack long-range goals and are more likely to engage in antisocial and delinquent behaviors
such as alcohol and drug abuse, sexual misconduct, and truancy. Adolescents with disengaged parents tend to have low academic grades and test scores.
Establish Effective rule for them
while setting rule have this points in your mind
Having too many rules prevent children from learning
should be reasonable
clear
consistent
stated positively
get opinion from children
Parents should monitor behaviour such as
- Sex, Alcohol, smoking, And Drugs
- Increased Use Of Communication Devices And Social Media
- Violence
- May engage in risky behaviors
- Physical or mental illness
- self-harm / suicide
Get professional help as early as possible.
Critical Practices of parents, should avoid
- Inappropriate expectations.
- Parental lack of empathy in meeting the needs of their children.
- Strong belief in the use of corporal punishment.
- Oppressing children’s power and independence.
Most parents reach their middle age just when adolescents reach their puberty. This particular combination of developmental stage bring tensions for parents with their children. If the parents are prepared with relevant knowledge and skills most of the problems of adolescents are prevented and solved, even facilitate healthy development of their children.
ADHD – What parents need to know
Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is “a condition of the brain that makes it hard for children to control their behavior”.
Facts
- The exact causes of ADHD are not yet known.
- The use of medication one of the most controversial issues still.
- Most common behavior disorder in school-aged kids.
- About 8-12% of kids have it.
- Children receive lots of negative than positive comments
- Some form may persist even in adulthood
- Parents need training
Types
- Inattention: trouble with paying attention, are disorganized.
- Hyperactivity: always moving, can’t sit down or talk too much.
- Impulsivity: act and talk without thinking, interrupt a lot or show poor judgment.
- Combination: The above symptoms can occur in different combinations.
Common issues
- The child is not doing well in school.
- The teacher complains of behavior issues in the classroom.
- Child is unable to complete homework assignments.
- His or her self-esteem is low.
Tips for parents
- Focus on your child’s good qualities.
- Your child will need lots of feedback.
- Help them to stick to a daily routine
- know the difference between discipline and punishment.
- Stop blaming and comparing.
- Spend more time for your child
- Allow them to play or exercise regularly
- Monitor schoolwork
- Effectively communicate with teachers.
- Rules should be consistent, positive, clearly explained
- Remain calm and do not shout.
- find ways of promoting their self-esteem
- Use positive reinforcement with small rewards
- Set boundaries
- Seek professional help.
Helpful Classroom strategies
- Close to the teacher.
- Near to the front of the classroom.
- Away from windows, doors, air conditioning.
- Near to good role models.
- Break down big jobs into several smaller jobs.
- Permit extra time for writing.
- Permit short breaks if needed.
- Parent teacher interaction.
Some positive characteristics associated with ADHD may include :
- Divergent thinking
- Being highly imaginative, innovative and inquisitive
- Sensitivity
- Creativity
- Tremendous energy
- Willingness to take risks
- Enthusiasm
- Curiosity
- Sense of humour.
Helpful Therapy
- Parental skill training
- Behavior modification
- Cognitive behavioral therapy
- Social skill training
- Mindfulness meditation
- Stress management